Truth be told, my initial hope was to launch months ago. I also thought this first post would read a bit differently than it does.
I’ve been wrestling with the Lord and resisting this free fall of faith; resisting and sort of ignoring God.
It’s much more difficult than I thought it would be. I’ve wanted nothing more than to keep my thoughts and secrets to myself, Jesus, and maybe a few close friends. Plus, I’m a perfectionist and I haven’t felt capable of “perfectly” expressing to you my experiences and just how amazing God’s love is for my life...and yours. I know I’m bound to mess this up or not get it just right. I don’t even remember how to MLA format and I’ve started a blog!
The pressure to be perfect infiltrates my mind even when I think I'm protecting myself against it. Perfectionism, along with it's impossible standard, isn't my best avenue and I'm constantly reminding myself of that.
Though the web, at times, is a less than ideal place to bring frank conversation, I think it’s important, vital even, to bring to light the struggles of our seemingly perfect lives.
Jesus didn’t die for me to create a facade of my life.
Sadness is personal. It’s an emotional darkness. And it’s scary to talk about.
Yet, Jesus wept.
Pain. Older than death, wiser than time.
Life is sad and people are hurting.
Writing raw, personal stories has been challenging, because again sadness is scary to talk about.
Sometimes I hate being challenged. I want to grasp everything that is easy and make it stay with me forever.
I crave comfort.
But the comfortable moments are not my best life.
In fact, comfort is a dangerous place to stay.
If I have learned one thing, it’s that I grow the most in uncomfortable moments. And it’s where some of the richest moments of my life have taken place.
So I’m trusting this endeavor even when the path seems dimly lit.
When I don’t like the unknowns; when agonizing questions rise; when I want answers and am standing in the waiting room for what is far outside my comfort zone, I start schemin’, like, “God, I know you’re good, and I’mma let you finish, but I’d like to tell you how I think this should go”.
I know that I'll laugh in the end because He’s done a far better thing than I could have ever imagined... That’s how it always goes.
So, without further ado, welcome to Untamed Love! I’m honored and so humbled you’re here.
(Stay tuned and send wine)
“Please ask yourself: What would I do if I weren’t afraid? And then go do that.” -- Sheryl Sandberg